Saturday, July 09, 2005

Wanna see my brain?

Not literally. I'm not going to saw off the top of my skull and lift it out and take pictures and post them. That would be gross. And impossible, because if I lift my brain out of my head all fine motor skills would cease and I would no longer be able to use a camera or type.

No, what I was talking about was, wanna see an example of how my brain works? I'm used to it, but I seem to sometimes disturb the people that know me. I'll be sitting at work or in a room with my friends and I'll be interacting quite normally whilst and at the same time amusing myself mentally by spinning off improbable scenarios from something someone said. Then I'll start giggling. This disturbs people.

Want an example? You asked for it. I was at work, and one of my co-workers said something to the effect that we had absolutely no way of knowing who might get off the elevator any time the doors opened. So I started thinking, "What if?"
What if the doors opened and a naked man came out?
What if he had a goat with him?
What if he was wearing a cowboy hat?
What if he got off the elevator and started having hot monkey sex with the goat while waving his cowboy hat in the air and shouting, "YEEHAW!"?
How on earth would we dispatch that to our officers?

I laughed for a good 20 minutes, with tears rolling down my face, while my co-workers stared at me and whispered to each other behind their hands.

Lest you think I'm a whackadoo through and through, I don't do this often. And come on; haven't we all done something like this sometime?



I'll blame it on chronic lack of sleep, then. Of which I'm going to get another dose tonight, having been called in 4 hours early. Excuse me; I need to go find my happy place.


Oh, to hell with the happy place. Its effects are canceled out by the soul-sucking anti-happy place that employs me. I saw my boss's boss the other day. I was very proud of myself; I didn't kick the son of a bitch in the shins on my way by.

See how my brain works? I went from self-inflicted partial decapitation to hot cowboy-on-goat action to sleep deprivation to transcendental meditation to fantasies about kicking the boss in the space of about 20 minutes.

No wonder I'm so tired all the time.


Blogger momma411 said...

Finally, someone whose brain works like mine! We are not least I keep telling myself that...

1:53 PM  

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